I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
