I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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