The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
