you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
