I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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