You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
third nipple confirmed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
