My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
