; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize