the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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