I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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