I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
