i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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