i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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