1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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