I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
