we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
