Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
