wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize