I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
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Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
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