i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
