It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
