I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
