it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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