White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He did a backflip because drugs
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