You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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