Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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