So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
