you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i think i just lost a toe
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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