As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk is not a location!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
