i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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