ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
