she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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