i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize