Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
