i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
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I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My vagina is very pro this idea
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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