omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
