did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
