Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
