I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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