You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
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I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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