i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
