Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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