..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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