Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
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I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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