Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
