yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
