butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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