Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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