I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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