honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
