Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize