He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize