I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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