So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
