What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize