I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
