i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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