Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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