Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
