Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
