Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
