Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
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I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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