Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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