Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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