chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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