Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
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I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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