PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
