I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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